What is Intuitive Eating

2026 Edits: I am editing this post I wrote a few years ago. I have learnd so much more since then and want this article to reflect what has changed for me. The foundation of Intuitive Eating is the same, I am just adding information

This article is informative only. It should not be interpreted as therapy and it does not replace therapy. Please seek professional help if needed.

Yesterday, I posted about why dieting does not work from a Bowen Lens. Along with posting about Systemic Therapy, I will also share what I find interesting, and one subject that intrigues me is Intuitive Eating. 

So, let's get into it. 

Intuitive Eating has 10 principles, and I will describe them each. They are not strict rules, and you'll probably find yourself going back to some over and over again. It takes time to work through what diet culture has taught us about what is “factual,” but is, in fact, a lie.

You have the ability to control your weight, no.

Eating only certain foods is healthy, no.

Eating as little as possible, no.

Making yourself as small as possible, no.

Making yourself as fit as possible, again, no.

Anything is possible if you try hard enough, have enough commitment, and apply the necessary dedication. nooooo! This might sound good in theory but is abliest nonsense!

Those who love themselves enough can achieve their weight or fitness goals. no!

NO SHAME in wanting any of those things or all of them. You have body autonomy!

I want to make it abundantly clear. I am not writing this to shame people who want to diet or to make you see that intuitive eating is the ultimate truth. It is another perspective through which to understand ourselves and society. And to know how the diet industry or “wellness” industry has lied to all of us. And the health care industry doesn’t always have the best intentions.

Dieting comes with rules. Every weight-loss diet, “wellness journey,” or “life style change” tells you what you can and can't eat. Some tell you when you can eat (intermittent fasting), how much you can eat (Weight Watchers or Wellness Watchers, NOOM), and how you should feel (you'll feel AMAZING once your body detoxes all those poisons). Usually, at some point in your dieting, you break those rules and blame yourself (lots of shame and guilt). That feeling you are trying to attain keeps slipping away as you struggle to abide by those rules.

Rules, "the shoulds," go against your intuition.

They disconnect you from your body and make you distrust yourself.

You give away your body wisdom.

If you have been chronically dieting or deep within an eating disorder, connecting back to your body can be a struggle. And sometimes feel nearly impossible.

Alexithymia

There also might be some mental disorders you struggle with, such as anxiety, OCD, Autism, ADHD, depression, and borderline personality disorder, that contribute to the alexithymia. That is why I believe it is essential to talk to a therapist while you do this work. 

Alexithymia is a disconnect between your internal signals such as hunger, thirst, need to pee, feelings like anxiety, and physical pain. There can be mixing up one signal for another. People with this condition might be hypersensitive or hyposensitive and both can lead to a health crisis. For instance, not being aware of hunger until severe cramping or not drinking water leading to dehydration and depletion of essential vitamins and inbalanced internal systems.

Those who are expriencing intense alexithymia check out the article below.

https://neurodivergentinsights.com/what-is-interoception/

Connecting to your body, listening to it, coming back into your parasympathetic nervous system (resting), and trusting yourself to eat food/ALL the foods are no small things. That is where the 10 principles come into play. 

These principles are connected to each other, and you’ll find that when you talk about one of them, you inevitably talk about the other principles. I say this to let you know that I will be repeating myself as I explain intuitive eating theory.

1) Reject the Diet Mentality 

Those rules, throw them out. And I mean out. Into the revine! You cannot be policing yourself around food and be an intuitive eater. A goal of weight loss goes against being intuitive. You cannot restrict your food and be an intuitive eater. This is a big one. Your body will change as you start eating more. But more on that later. ANY RULE you have must be tossed aside. No more tracking food. No more calculating calories or points. No more burning off your food with exercise. No more safe foods. No more looking to see what foods you can eat at a restaurant. No more telling your family, partner(s), or friends your "safe foods". This is a gradual journey.

Write down all your food and exercise rules. Write down your feelings and anxieties.

For some, this process can be liberating. Cooking becomes enjoyable. Eating out becomes fun. Going to family functions is no longer a huge deal. The scale no longer dictates your day (some people toss out their scale; weight neutrality can be a thing, but it is also okay not to weigh yourself for the foreseeable future). No more goal-size clothes. Clothes are supposed to fit your body, not the other way around. 

You are building awareness around your reactions, thoughts, feelings, sensations, body signals, etc. For instance, if you are craving carbs, what is your initial reaction? If you find yourself hungry more often, what is your initial reaction? If you see your body in the mirror, what is your initial reaction?

Deep breathing exercises and mindfulness (nonjudgmental awareness, observing your thoughts, feelings, reactions, urges, triggers, experiences, sensations rather than attaching to them, assigning value, moralizing them, or trying to fix them) and journaling are extremely helpful when you begin this process. It can be overwhelming how much your body has to say. Over time, the more you allow yourself to feel, the less hypervigilant you are.

What are some diet terms you can think of? Write them out and think about where they might have come from.

Then reject that diet verbiage nonsense. It no longer serves you.

2) Honor Your Hunger

When you're hungry, EAT. You will be spending some time here. You will probably find that when you start to eat more, and I mean A LOT MORE, you are hungry all the time. Your brain is saying, "Oh shit!! We have FOOD! Imma make you hungry as hell!" And that is what it does. You have to eat a lot of food consistently for your brain to realize you are no longer restricting, mentally and physically. That means being aware of your self-talk. Are you telling yourself you won't eat like this forever? That is restriction. Again, journaling this process helps to gain insight and release your feelings. 

Side note: Restricting often leads to binging on food—those taboo foods. Binging for you might not be what the DSM considers a binge, but it is still binging if it is a loss of control and mindless (dissociation) eating, usually until you are uncomfortably full. Emotions and triggers can also trigger a binge. Biliema (binge and purge either through vomiting or excessive exercise or restriction) is an eating disorder, and having a therapist is an integral part of doing this work, especially if you have an eating disorder. My advice is that they are intuitively eating trained or informed.

I believe it is also crucial to eat when you are not hungry. Eating only when you are hungry can become a rule, and then you'll find yourself restricting when there is food, and you have already eaten. So be aware of that, eat even when you are not hungry, and sit with the discomfort. “The Fuck It Diet” book is helpful with that suggestion.   

It might take some time to connect to your hunger. You might have been numbed out for a looooong time. Don't worry. Just take your time and eat. Continue eating and connecting to your body. Mindfulness and lying down for a body-scan meditation are helpful. Five minutes is a great place to start with meditations. If you are like me, sitting in a chair or on the floor is a no-go for this kind of work. Lying down is way more comfortable, relaxing, and feels safe. 

If you have a history of trauma, abuse, or chronic mental illness, PLEASE find a therapist while doing this work. It can be nearly impossible or overwhelming to reconnect with your body and trust it with those kinds of experiences. Guidance and a knowledgeable, trusted professional are required. 

3) Make Peace with Food 

You are no longer going to have rules around food. ALL FOOD IS ALLOWED.

Unconditional permission to eat anything. Unconditional permission is the opposite of restriction. When those thoughts come up that say, "You shouldn't eat that!" or "Are you sure you want to eat all that?" "What about eating all that now and then less later?" or "How about we skip breakfast and only have coffee?" or "Buy that less than desirable food substitute!" or "You'll gain weight if you eat that!" “You’ll go over your macros if you eat that.” “You’re eating junk food!” All of those thoughts are restrictions and could lead to binging on food now or later. Like I have mentioned several times already, mindfulness and journaling. Your thoughts and feelings just are. They are not facts. They are both truth and falsehoods within them. Allow your thoughts (and feelings/anxiety) to be without judgment (thoughts are neither good nor bad). Remember: all foods are allowed.

Be curious about your thoughts, feelings, reactions, urges, etc.

Feelings and urges are subjective and don’t last forever.

The more you sit with them, the more they lessen over time.

The more you can be curious about your relationship with food and your body.

4) Challenge the Food Police

The Food Police is how you feel about yourself when you eat a certain way or don't.

The Food Police is judgmental, critical, and shames you into obedience. When those judgmental feelings and thoughts shout at you, breathe, let them be, and shrug your shoulders at them.

As mentioned before, geelings are not facts. Thoughts are just thoughts.

We can hold space for our thoughts and feelings without interpreting them as bad or ourselves as bad.

We cannot control our thoughts or feelings, but we can learn how to respond to them differently.

You are not a bad person for eating whatever food you want.

Food is morally neutral (same with our thoughts and feelings). Eating can be a guilt-free process. It can be an enjoyable process. It can be an easy process.

5) Discover the Satisfaction Factor

Eating food can be enjoyable and makes us feel good. Eating is supposed to bring us joy or contentment! It helps us emotionally regulate.

Satisfaction with what we eat is a major reason we don't binge.

When you eat the food you desire in a place that feels good to you (such as the living room rather than hiding in the kitchen or closet where you feel shame), you feel satisfied. When you substitute food for something that's just alright or unappetizing but not satisfying, you'll typically eat more of it, and because you are trying to find that satiety quotient.

When you eat what you actually want and however much you want, you’ll feel happy and satisfied, and you'll be able to move on from the experience. Once you have satisfied your cravings and hunger, food becomes unappealing until the next time you sense your hunger and desire for food.

Side note: You might find that after doing this journey, some of your diet foods are satisfying, and there is nothing wrong with that. 

6) Feel Your Fullness

As you go through this journey, you are learning to trust your body. When your body tells you you are hungry. You listen. When it craves sugar and carbs. You listen.

Your body will tell you when it is full, and that is a process. Sometimes your body will tell you to eat more, sometimes less.

Less does not mean better.

Sometimes you'll be massively hungry for no reason other than your body is sending you signals.

Your routine might change day to day with what you eat or how much you eat, and that is okay. Your routine might not change much at all. That does not matter. AT ALL. You don't need to justify your hunger or your fullness. Your meals or your snacks. Where you eat and when you eat. 

Try your best not to compare how much you eat to others.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Eating the foods you want in front of others, in the amounts you want or what your body desires, can be hard. VERY HARD.

You might believe that others are judging you, OR you might have family members who think it is their responsibility to tell you how much you can eat and what you can eat. It is none of their business. Your body, what you eat, and if you exercise are your private business.

Someone who comments on that shows their discomfort and bias and reflects on them, not you.  

You are building back trust in your body. It takes time. And you might second-guess what your body is telling you.

Most diets tell you to eat 1200 calories. That is the number of calories that a toddler needs.

Adults, no matter how tall or short they are, need MUCH more. I say this because people coming out of chronic dieting usually eat much more food than previously, and it can be anxiety-provoking.

Calorie intake goes way up, either right away or over time, when you start the intuitive eating process, which can be overwhelming.

It goes against everything diet culture has taught you and feels irresponsible.

You might feel like you’ll lose control if you start breaking those diet culture rules, but in reality, by letting go of what you can’t control (cravings, hunger, feelings, thoughts, etc.), you gain control.

This is the paradox of control.

I will write, one of these days, about how control is an illusion, for the most part.  

7) Cope with Your Emotions with Kindness

I mentioned before that dieting, disordered eating, and eating disorders are ways of coping with life.

They can be a way to dissociate and numb yourself from your humanity.

When you stop and start eating again, it can be very uncomfortable. Your anxieties, feelings, and past pain and trauma can start to make themselves known. THERAPY can be a safe space to experience all of that.

Those feelings that you have been numbing can be overwhelming. Finding ways to cope is really important. Avoidance and distraction (automatic survival responses) might be your go-to; however, being in the moment with yourself without judgment can be so beneficial for your overall health. 

I have a blog post about feelings:

Feeeeeelings!

DR. DEVON DMFT, LMHC, LMFT

·

SEPTEMBER 22, 2025

In this article, I explore various aspects of Natural Family Systems, also known as Bowen Theory, about feelings. To better understand this theory, please see my other articles on this theory. I will explain the concepts I bring up within the length I am trying to make this blog.

Read full story

8) Respect your Body

Respecting your body could also mean body acceptance, body positivity, and/or body neutrality. Everybody has a genetic aspect to their body size, meaning that your body size is… you guessed it, genetic.

Somewhere around 80% of your body composition is genetic. Your body is extraordinarily good at keeping your body within its "set point" weight.

Your set point weight fluctuates between 20 lbs. 20 LBS!!

You can fluctuate in weight (up and down) due to a variety of reasons: hormones, aging, medication, pregnancy, stress, mental health, and your genetic composition.

Our bodies are meant to change on their own.

Now, when you stop dieting, your weight will fluctuate for a while until it understands you are no longer restricting, no longer in famine, and then it will find its set point.

I would suggest not getting hyper-focused on what your set-point might be although I know that is difficult.

Some people gain weight and stay there, some gain and then lose weight, and some don't change at all. 

Before talking about body acceptance, body positivity, and body neutrality, I want to mention that if your body has had recent major changes, chronic physical pain, or chronic health conditions, it can be extraordinarily difficult to practice what I am going to mention next. It can feel ableist to hear someone say “just focus on what how your body functions, not how it looks.” when you have felt like your body has never functioned how it should or how others say it should.

Diet cutlure is inherently ableist because it assumes that everyone can be the same size no matter. If you just try hard enough, you can achieve your weightloss goals but research shows that isn’t possible and then you throw in chronic health issues and diet culture messages feel even worse.

Check out this article if you’re interested in body acceptance and neutrality with chronic health issues for more information.

https://www.bodygriefcoach.com/post/embracing-body-neutrality-affirmations-for-disabled-folks

Body acceptance: accepting what your genetics are without being critical of yourself and demanding your body change or fit into a certain size. Giving your body what it needs and deserves. Your body can take up space!

Body positivity and body neutrality 

Body positivity: Celebrating your body! For some, this means loving their body and what it can do. 

Body neutrality: Your body is not an ornament; it is an instrument. Your body can do so many things, and you can appreciate that without trying to lose weight. Becoming neutral means not having negative or positive feelings about your body. And if you automatically judge your body, how do you then acknowledge that reaction and then let it go (mindfulness). Your body is only one aspect of who you are. 

For some, after being taught to hate their body, they find themselves not wanting to be neutral about it. They want to love, enjoy, and celebrate their bodies.

Others want to be neutral about their bodies. They spend years putting their bodies through hell, and now want to enjoy all the other aspects of who they are as a person. 

It does not matter which one you find yourself in. Or maybe you are both. It is your journey and your journey alone. 

9) Movement - Feel the Difference 

Intuitive movement: Listening to your body and how it wants to move/what it needs. Paying attention to how movement makes you feel. Does it make you feel energized, stronger, focused, at ease, clearer, or happy?

When you focus on how you feel during movement, then those feelings can be a strong motivation for continuing that exercise.

External motivations like losing weight, having a certain number on the scale, having a certain body type, or having a certain clothing size, are correlated with negative self-image, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem because usually, those goals are not attainable, or people have a hard time keeping them. 

You blame yourself for not being able to attain and keep those fitness goals.

It can make fitness feel like a chore.

Working out can become a form of self-punishment.

For those with OCD, it can become a compulsion.

When you find movement you enjoy. It tends to be fun and exciting.

It becomes much easier to continue it because movement is associated with positive feelings.

It can be freeing to let yourself move your body however you want, whenever you want, and for as long as you want (our life responsibilities can make finding time to move your body difficult. Remember that your health is move than food and movement. And that any kind and any amount of movement counts. 10 minutes of movement has shown research evidence to increase health.)

This could look like walking, stretching, running, rollerskating, biking, swimming, jump roping, etc. If you forced yourself to do a certain workout or class because that was what was acceptable or burned the most calories or gained the most muscles, then intuitive movement is a very different experience. 

At the beginning of this journey, you will likely need rest. Lots of rest. You might want to take a break from exercise until you have worked through some of those damaging beliefs around it. All movement counts. 

You might believe that if you stop exercising, you will rest forever, but that is not true. Maybe you'll rest for months. Everyone is different with this process, but it is important to remember that rest is just as important as movement. Active recovery is not the same as rest. Remembe,r your resting state is when you are in the parasympathetic nervous system. Eating and resting are crucial to your overall health. As you connect more with your body, it will tell you when to move and what it needs.  

A great book for this is Train Happy - Tally Rye is the author and she also has a 30-day journal of her book that provides great support for doing this work. 

10) Honor Your Health with Gentle Nutrition 

This principle is the last one for a reason. Jumping here before you have started processing the principles mentioned before can harm you more than help.

What people find is that when they have been doing this work for a long while where they have been allowing all foods and eating the taboo ones without judgment, one day they start to crave vegetables, salad, or fruits.

Their bodies tell them to eat it! It is not forced by some external rule.

They crave broccoli, AND THEN they make something SATISFYING.

They might make stir fry or vegetables in pasta, or a smoothie, BUT it is not according to a bunch of external rules (counting calories, low-fat substitute, “this is how I should eat”, or seeing how many points it is).

They cook the broccoli how they want to, which could mean with BUTTER. Cooking with butter does not take away the nutritional value of the food it is cooked with. Your body needs fat and sugar.

This also means not trying to be perfect with whatever it is you are cooking.

Perfection does not exist here (or anywhere for that matter).

There is no perfect healthy way to be or way to eat.

Eating a cookie does not discount whatever "healthy" foods you have eaten that day.

You are gaining inceptive awareness back by letting yourself be in your body without judgment, understanding its signals, its feelings, and accepting that it’ll change.

Getting to this step is not an overnight process. Building body wisdom takes time.

If you have been dieting for years, it is going to take some time for you to work through all the ways diet culture has affected you. 

The goal is to be better able to deal with the automatic judgments of what you are eating, how you are being, and what you are doing. It is not about never having judgments or never having feelings or never being uncomfortable.

You can build the skill of tolerating discomfort. Tolerating others judging you (or perceived judgment).

Tolerating your body evolving.

Let those feelings be…. and they will pass.

Side note: There is no such thing as food addiction. Restricting food can make you FEEL like you are addicted to certain types of food, especially when you lose control around those foods. I have seen people who have thought they were addicted to sugar move through intuitive eating and realize they were not. You cannot be addicted to something your body needs. Food is not a drug. It is not heroin. Your body does not need heroin, but it does need food. Now you might disagree with this statement, and you might believe that sugar is not a food group. Or that processed foods shouldn’t be considered food but your survival doesn’t differentiate your food judgments. It just knows you are mentally and physically restricting and does what it does best, takes control.

A few other things: 

It is a human need (based on our survival) to be accepted and to seek approval from society, friends, and family.

Some of you might have noticed that at times when you have gained weight, your acceptance is dependent on the size of your body. This is an extremely difficult aspect of his work and a big reason that people choose to go back to dieting. Our society and many people's families only accept those who have a thin or fit body type, and when your body does not fit what is acceptable, you are made to feel like an outsider.

That is why it is crucial to find people who do support your journey or are on the same journey. 

A lot of people, when they first start this journey, are ANGRY.

Angry about all the lies fed to them and angry about how much time and money they wasted on dieting.

They want to tell everybody about their discovery, but sometimes all the people around them align with diet culture. That can feel very isolating.

Social media can help here. There are lots of intuitive eating dietitians [dietitian (licensed term) is different than nutritionist] and body acceptance accounts. Same with body neutrality and body positivity. Curate your social media to support your journey.

Now, it is my opinion that you can tell people about intuitive eating and diet culture, but you cannot change other people or make other people join your journey.

Becoming an intuitive eater is a choice, and it is not meant for everybody. The last thing I want is for anti-diet or intuitive eating to become a cult.    

Your health 

Now people will read this and think "But what about people who are "obese? What about them??" What about them? Do you think they benefit from being ostracized by society? Shamed by strangers? Excluded from public transit? Talked about negatively by their friends and family? Not given access to quality health care because their doctor tells them to lose weight before they can treat them (when losing weight is nearly impossible to sustain)? NO. Absolutely not. People with fat bodies are treated like shit in our society, and the message that is sent to them is "please don't exist" or “We don’t care of you die, its your fault anyway”.

Fat phobia is real, and lots of doctors project that onto their fat clients. Fat people should be given access to health care.  

The quality of your relationships, your stress level, your family history, genetics, access to resources (therapy, doctors, movement), and past trauma are much better indicators of your health than what food you eat or the size of your body.

Shaming people into taking better care of their health is not the way to go about it. People of all sizes can be healthy. They can apply healthy habits to their life, and THAT DOES NOT MEAN THEY WILL LOSE WEIGHT. 

Alsoooo, the obesity epidemic is not a thing. You heard me. The Maintenance Phase podcast has a great episode about how that came into existence. I have mentioned before that dieting is a money-making scheme.... well the obesity epidemic is a part of that and it's absolutely wild what those in power have done to health care. 

All right, I think I've covered everything I wanted to with Intuitive Eating. Please read and research! Become informed yourself. Don't just take my word for it. There are tons of research articles on Intuitive Eating, and I mentioned books that you can read.